If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
