just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
