What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
