Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
