So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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