I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
