It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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