I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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