I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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