Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she looked like the before picture.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
