life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
