grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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