If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
