i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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