You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
