Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I forget how to act sober
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
