I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My vagina just recognized that song.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
