All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
