Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
