I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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