I'm so fucking centered right now
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
