if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
