I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
