you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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