Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the condom got lost in my hair
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
