TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
