I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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