I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
