my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
