Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
