no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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