The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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