Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
