Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You made out with two different species that night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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