The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
