Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
