I wannas sexs uuuuu
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
