put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
