I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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