Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
