Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
