hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
