Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
