Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
