Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
