I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
