I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
