is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
