handjob tips. give me some.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
