..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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