Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
